Caela’s Ghost Writer Says: “Fire Caela, Hire Me!”

by Caela

Charles Remus Crowley Bennet, the 24 months-old ghost writer of Caela and better known as Charles, was caught by Would You Buy It For A Quarter?’s (WYBIFAQ) headquarters’ security cameras last Tuesday, March 17 at 11pm (PST) writing articles allegedly for WYBIFAQ’s in-house blogger Caela. Charles was first detained by the security team on the grounds of trespassing and using false identity when Caela’s ID pass was found in his possession. He was then later released when Caela spoke to the authorities on Charles’ defense.

On an interview with the press, Charles said that he had been writing “half of Caela’s articles”. According to him, Caela had been employing him since she joined WYBIFAQ and called her “very lazy and only likes to party”. He also urged the editorial board of WYBIFAQ to “fire Caela, and hire me instead.”

Meanwhile, Caela has refused to comment on Charles’ allegations and on his call to the editorial board.

The WYBIFAQ Editorial Board (WYBIFAQEB) released a statement yesterday, March 18, saying that Caela’s actions were “regretful and it leaves us no option but to ask Ms. Caela to fire Mr. Charles.” The WYBIFAQEB also added that it would never hire Charles.

Activist groups called WYBIFAQEB’s decision “shameful and unforgivable”. They demand that the WYBIFAQEB over turns its decision and fire Caela instead. Caela’s supporters on the other hand are wondering how Caela would be able to continue to employ Charles after being fired from WYBIFAQ if the editorial board gives in to the activists demands.

Here are the pictures taken from the security cameras on Tuesday night:

Comments
49 Responses to “Caela’s Ghost Writer Says: “Fire Caela, Hire Me!””
  1. malabog says:

    On behalf of half the editorial board, we wish to express our deepest disappointment for Ms. Caela’s actions. However, we believe that Caela played an integral part in the board, so half of the board are proposing for her to make an honorable exit and half of the board are entertaining thoughts of hiring Charles instead because Charles can look at issues from different angles–where Caela cannot. Please leave more replies to help us decide what we should do for the board is facing an unignorbly horrible dilemma. –

    P.S. Charles is cute, don’t you think?

  2. Caela says:

    Official Statement of Caela

    I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer keep quiet regarding this issue. On my defense I present the following statements:

    Mr. Charles Remus Crowley Bennet had been working for me since I joined Would You Buy It For A Quater? (WYBIFAQ) with the official capacity of being my copy editor personally paid by yours truly due to the fact that WYBIFAQ does not earn enough to pay its writers let alone pay copy editors.

    While it is true that half of my articles passes through him, Mr. Charles has not written them although he had provided some insights into it.

    Upon the direction of the Editorial Board, I have relieved Mr. Charles from my employ.

    While it is true that I like to party [sic] (the other half of the board share that same passion, by the way) it is not true that I am very lazy [sic] as Mr. Charles alleged. This is proven by that fact that according to the most recent statistics from the Blog Statistics Office (which exists only in my mind), I have the most number of article turn outs while Silent Sinner generated most traffic.

    These said, I believe that it is in the best interest of the WYBIFAQ to keep me.

    [signed Caela]

  3. sally sullivan says:

    In defense of my dearest Charles, I deem that Ms. Caela and the board has been quite unfair. I sense a power trip by Charles’ previous employer (Caela). How can one be certain that this whole event was a not a set-up?

    Throughout this ordeal, the victim, Mr. Charles, has been kept in the dark. For his sake, I say, “LET HIM SPEAK”!

    Give him his fair chance to defend himself from the sneaky attacks of those against him.

  4. malabog says:

    Half of the board have already decided that Charles be hired and Caela be relieved from duty. The decision of half of the board is final and any decisions from the other half of the board will not be honored.Charles may start work tomorrow and may disregard the other half of the board’s protests.

    P.S. To Ms. Sally Sullivan, We regret to inform you that Mr. Charles is incapable of speaking and gurgles coming from Charles only exist in your mind.

  5. Charles says:

    [Post deleted by administrator due to excessive use of profanities.]

  6. OTHER half of the board says:

    The OTHER half of the board would like to make it clear that Caela is part of the board (Which board is this exactly? The white one or the black one?). They have decided to fire half of the board. This decision is final and irrevocable, effective immediately.

  7. Aziraphale says:

    I just want to say that Caela and Charles had been freeloading at my apartment for FAR TOO LONG! I want them out! Now!

  8. kagenokodoku says:

    The missing part of the board that always abstains (and rarely makes their presence felt) would just like to comment that it is evident in the pictures above that Charles is wearing garments suitable for a patient. This invisible part of the board would also like to add that a few days ago, there has been news of escapees from the local mental asylum, and wonders what connection that incident could possibly have with the events currently unfolding.

  9. sally sullivan says:

    In defense of my dearest Charles once more, I would just like to commend him for his profound intellect and amazing capability to communicate without the use of human communication.

    Hale the great Charles!!!

  10. sally sullivan says:

    I love thee my dearest.

    My one and only.

    Marry me!

  11. malabog says:

    The half of the board has found Charles guilty of adultery–adultery in the sense that he is indirectly professing loyalty and love to an alien board. We therefore fire him for breaching the contract of loyalty and love to half of the board only. The issue here is that Charles has been accepted because half of the board thinks that he is cute–indirectly implying that half of the board has romantic interests on Charles. Therefore he is fired for breach of contract. Farewell Charles!

    P.S. Ms. Sullivan’s words–“Marry me!”– have been profoundly interesting and so half of the board wishes to hire her. Half of the board however wishes to inform its readers that it has no romantic interests over Ms. Sullivan, and that she will be hired for purely academic purposes only.

  12. sally sullivan says:

    Though the Board submitted quite a strong argument against the relationship that I share with my dear Charles, I must admit that I cannot help but be flattered by the offer. But then, I am no fiend of his. I am his most loyal lover….and thus, I shall humbly decline this offer.

    P.S. If you would consider a review regarding the “purely academic purposes only”….I might reconsider. “hint” “hint”

  13. Caela says:

    Hey! I thought I’m supposed to be the issue here. Does this mean that MY JOB is no longer on the line?

  14. sally sullivan says:

    To Ms.Caela:

    I regret to inform you but you are not the issue anymore since you no longer have a job.

    • Caela says:

      On the contrary, Ms. Sullivan, I still have a job. (Unlike Mr. Charles who was fire both by me and the half of the board.) The OTHER half of the board is still not firing me! 😛

  15. sally sullivan says:

    Oh I pity you, Ms.Caela.

    I shall no longer mind your delusions. I have better things to do like arrange my wedding and honeymoon with dear Charles.

    Go play with yourself instead.

  16. rudy says:

    yes marry charles!

  17. malabog says:

    Half of the board pities Ms. Caela because her work is no longer the issue here but applaudes Ms Sullivan for her great conviction in resisting all efforts on tearing her and her lover apart. Half of the board is now considering rehiring Ms Caela. Regarding Ms. Sullivan’s review, half of the bored cannot provide a review at the moment because half of the bored has found true love and is busy flirting with true love.

    P.S. Half of the board will do Ms. Sullivan’s review as soon as it can after…(wink!)

    • malabog says:

      No one is minding what half of the board is saying anymore therefore half of the board is firing EVERYONE!!!!!!!!! Protests will never be entertained!!!!!!!!!

    • sally sullivan says:

      To the board:

      I appreciate you “making time” to do my review but then, frankly, I do not care. I am deeply involved with my Charles and I couldn’t care much about less significant things.

      My dear Charles and I shall go away together and settle in a place with “civilized” people and where no “caelas” exist.

      Thank you very much and I wish you all a happy
      “doing” with your true love.

  18. winterhollyhock says:

    Members of the board, i regret to inform you that the mother board has already decided and she wants our resignation letters by tomorrow noon on her desktop or else, she is going to fire all of us. She is furious, not because of the main issue but because of our failure to recognize the kind of board we are working on. And for your enlightenment my dear board mates, it is the chopping board! (kthx you guys, i’m gonna starve for days because of this)

  19. My dear Caela (& Charles)

    You mean you’ve got CCTV cameras over there too? OMG! So it’s not just us Brits who are worried about being found out while wasting our time at the computer … and other things.

    Seriously though, I really think the world is too hard on those of us with a bit of gumption. Don’t you?

    The bored .. I mean Board really needs to look at this again. Clearly you and Charles are BOTH needed in this internetty-type world.

    Anyway, if you’re banned from the internetty thing I’d miss you at my blog.

    It cheers me up no end to get your comments (or Charles’s.)

    So don’t let a little criminal activity between friends worry you. They’re all at it. Or so they tell me.

    http://keeptonyblairforpm.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/do-secularists-bomb-the-life-out-of-christianity-i-think-not/

    • Caela says:

      Yes! It’s all over the place. It’s like big brother here at the WYBIFAQ headquarters so motherboard knows who is saying or doing what.

      I’m afraid I’m still not sure whether or not I still have my job here at WYBIFAQ but my account is still not suspended, so I guess I’m still not officially fired. Half of the bored — uhm, board said they’re thinking of hiring me back.

      These boards are confusing me.

      You have to help me on my fight! I cannot let them silence me forever just because of the few times that Charles’ voice was intermingled with mine.

      If I’m ever banned from this internetty thing, life would never be normal again and my life would be as empty as Charles’ ion drink and as meaning less.

      I call on all my supporters and readers to appeal to all boards not to fire me. As for Charles, I heard he and Ms. Sullivan are going away to live their fairy tale.

  20. malabog says:

    Before Half of the Board goes to sleep:

    On behalf of half of the board, I would like to inform the mother board that our intelligence sources say that we are working not on the chopping board but on the dashboard, therefore, half of the board has now grounds for firing winterhollyhock for providing wrong intelligence information.

    Half of the board would also like to congratulate Sally Sullivan for marrying Rudy and dumping Charles. oops! I slipped!

    On behalf of half of the board, this is malabog, now signing off.

    • Caela says:

      Caela is astounded that malabog is speaking for the half of the bored… er, board and keeps firing everyone when we’ve never even had a bored… er, board meeting before. Plus, she’s provided us with a wrong and unverified information thus violating the WYBIFAQ contract. Therefore, on behalf of the motherboard, I am firing malabog.

  21. sally sullivan says:

    I do not understand why the board is reacting this way. Am I the only one sensible here? In fact, I should be the most ridiculous, senseless and illogical one since I am the one experiencing a passionate and romantic moment with Charles dear.

    P.S. I am in love with Charles, am I not?

  22. shien says:

    I ask the favor of the bore-ah I mean Board for clarity on the issues, such as who got fired in the process of reviewing Mr. Charles’ case. I wish to invite them to work for my board instead. I work for the blackboard, anyone fired in this case may feel free to apply, you are most welcomed.

    Ms. Sally and Mr. Charles, do invite me to the wedding. ^_^

  23. sally sullivan says:

    I am confused.

    Who do you say I married? Am I married? and if yes, to whom?

    I am beginning to think the world has gone mad.

    OR maybe just me.

    OR you.

  24. malabog says:

    Half of the board would like to inform everyone that Ms. Caela’s controversial article on Angela Merkel is now up and running.

    WE WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT CLEAR HOWEVER THAT WE ARE NOT PROMOTING HER ARTICLE.

    In fact we have found new grounds to fire Caela simply because half of the board does not like Merkel and that Half of the board were disappointed because Caela did not write about Sarkozy, whom she knew that half of the board adored.

    • OTHER half of the board says:

      The other half of the board would like to point out that we do not like Nicolas Sarkozy or even Angela Merkel. The other half of the board demands that an article about Vladimir Putin and his greatness be written!

      Long live Putin!

      • malabog says:

        Half of the the board would like to debunk whatever the OTHER half of the board have said.Half of the board believes that Putin is old and so should retire! Any attempts to write about Putin will be censored and anyone who wites about him will be fired.

        Anyone who writes about the sexy, hot, intelligent, and adorable Mr. Sarkozy will be promoted.

        • kagenokodoku says:

          whatever happened to freedom of speech? O_O

          • malabog says:

            Half of the bullyboard are now officially curtailing Freedom of Speech! Thanks for giving us this idea, kagenokodoku!

            Now, someone write that Sarkozy article!

            • shien says:

              The other half of the board have yet to come to a decision, a suppression of freedom of any kind must earn the votes of more than half of the board. Since only half have curtailed Freedom of Speech, in behalf of the higher powers, said Freedom of Speech will not be curtailed so as the other half have not done the same thing. Curtailed freedom of speech or not, the higher powers speak their will and will not be overruled. ~~

              • malabog says:

                Since the higher powers are not considered part of the discussion anymore–since they have declined half of the board’s offer and have been fired–whatever they say will not be given attention. Half of the board have also decided to take tyrannical measures to force everyone to write about half of the board’s beloved Sarkozy. Half of the board will fire anyone who will not be able to submit an article about Sarkozy 12 PM today.

  25. Caela says:

    Since I am now fired. Again. I would like to propose that we call half of the board the “firing squad” since they have not done anything other than fire people.

  26. shien says:

    The higher powers second Ms. Caela’s proposal.

    In behalf of the higher powers I suggest a forum on chocolate and what it does to people.

  27. malabog says:

    The bored half of the bored would like to propose a topic about which flies higher, is it the birds, or the bees?

  28. shien says:

    If the eagles are declared as birds, then the higher powers suggests that birds fly a hell lot higher than bees. The higher powers doubt the ability of the bees to overcome the pressure that goes with increasing elevation with their little wings.

  29. Thuan says:

    Hello again fellow writer! I wanted to leave you a brief note letting you know that I came back to your page. I noticed you have not put up anything new in quite some time. Maybe I can provide you the inspiration of a dedicated reader. 🙂

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  1. […] (PPPS: I just realized that technically, I am allowed to post this post because according to this, “writers are entitled to their own opinions and the topics they wish to cover” moreover “WYBIFAQ encourages expression of opinion.” Obviously, I am simply trying to make my case in advance so that I don’t get fired again.) […]



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